Sexuality and Relationship Coaching
If you found yourself reading the articles on this site and wishing you could learn more and receive my direct support under your unique circumstances you may choose to work with me.
I’ve been studying and practicing Tantric Sexuality since 2008. The training that started me on this path happened over more than 1000 hours of study and practice at the Tantra Yoga school in Thailand, where besides completing the 3.5-year long core curriculum of authentic Tantra Yoga, I have participated in dozens of workshops, retreats and trainings which were offered in parallel with the main course of study. For me the most important spiritual gem I received there was the study of Kashmir Saivism. After finishing the school in 2012, I have been actively integrating my knowledge into the real world (which was much more difficult to do as compared to the love bubble of the school’s community), and constantly experimenting with new ideas and teachings.
When I first started on this journey, I was full on on the path of the mind. Embodiment was nowhere on my list of interests. In the recent years I had a major shift in my core and I have realized that I have been missing probably the most important aspect of life, while being stuck in my mind, and that’s being in my body, feeling alive, working with what is, accepting the unfoldment of life in its own way, learning to relax, slow down and not “push the river”. These days my main focus of study and practice are the subjects of awareness, surrender, staying in my body, and feeling love. The direction is to focus less on techniques and hard work, and more on feeling and enjoying the simplicity of what is. My prior intense work on my mind didn’t go wasted, as now my mind and body are aligned and there is little conflict experienced between the two. My ego is my friend (most of the time) and it enjoys not always needing to be in control, as it knows it’s safe for me to let go of control.
While I don’t feel myself being an accomplished master, there are a lot of things that I did master and I am passionate about, and in those areas I feel competent and excited to support others on their road to mastery.
Recently, I have received an amazing insight. Your sexuality is a litmus test for the quality of your wellbeing. If your sexuality is far from being wonderful, it simply means that if you were to look closely, your whole life is far from being wonderful. And if you’re moved to improve your sexuality, what you really are trying to do is to improve all aspects of your life. Sex is simply a doorway into so much more than just pleasure. I didn’t have that awareness myself when I was moved to work on my sexuality. It is so clear to me now.
You will also notice that while I share teachings from Tantric Sexuality on this website, I don’t make them the most important thing. You might have no interest whatsoever in authentic Yoga, developing spiritual values, working with subtle energies, etc., yet a dramatic impact on your life can happen without you needing to aspire to any values that don’t speak to you at this moment. Your inner longing for a better sexuality is the key to it all. The rest will fall in its place when the time will be right.
How I Can Be Of Help To You
I don’t like complicated multi-step systems, and so I work with a very simple approach of having a choice of how you live your life.
I first help you to become aware of any blind spots that you may have in your inner psychology and the psychology of your relationships. Examples of these could be:
- manipulative love – having sex to gain love and favors
- inability to speak yours needs, guessing your partner’s needs
- trying to fix your partner – not loving your partner as they are
- trying to fix yourself – not loving your body and mind
- how you want to be touched and loved
- are you worthy of love
- how your relationships are a gift to you, even if they appear to be painful
- jealousy and other kinds of fears
We will have an honest talk about your needs and pains, and help you identify where you have been lying to yourself (and others) or perhaps weren’t even aware of something you have been doing that has been sabotaging your sexuality and relationships most likely all your life.
I will not suggest to you to fix any of those, but instead, to just become aware of when you experience those blind spots in your daily life – at times as they happen, at other times after they happened. If until now your behavior was automatic, as you practice this awareness, over time you will start noticing that you have a choice before you act and gradually you will start choosing a different path.
That different path may include:
- experiencing unconditional self-love
- learning how to know and speak your needs
- developing inner awareness to truly know what works and what doesn’t
- surrendering to what is, being in the now and experiencing the state of serenity
- living with authenticity and honesty
- knowing that you’re enough, and feeling the freedom to be as you are
- reframing getting buttons pushed as gifts received as they shine light into your blind spots
For most of us developing these qualities will take a life time, though I believe that any progress in any of these will start having an incredible positive impact on your sexuality and your whole life. Once recognized and experienced, I guarantee you, you will want to orient yourself towards owning those qualities, because you will feel liberated from being a slave to your inner despot and those others around you who control your life because you allowed them to.
Also you may have noticed that these important values are somewhat on the selfish-side. It’s very true, but do you really believe you can love others before you learn to love yourself? Can you understand and meet other people’s needs before you know yours and speak your truth? If you want to be a life giving fountain, you first need to have access to that water of life. The truth is that most people think that they are giving, but in truth they are taking. So what seems to be selfish is in fact very unselfish in the long run. Since once you’re full with love, acceptance, serenity and inner wellbeing, you will have no choice but to want to share it with others.
When we work together I will also coach you into accessible to all sexuality improvements techniques to solve specific issues. For example, PC-muscle control is an absolute must for both men and women, who aspire to better sexuality. Learning to stay in your body during sex is crucial for an amazing sensual and orgasmic experience, especially for women. And if you’re ready for advanced Tantric practices we have lots of delightful practices to talk about: working with subtle energy, transfiguration and group love making to name a few, and of course how to turn your sexy past time into a powerful spiritual practice.
Of course you can ask for help in other things and I will be able to tell you whether I can support you there or not. If I don’t — I will try to recommend a direction/modality to look into and if I know of a specific practitioner, that, I trust, will give you what you need, I will refer you that practitioner.
Here are a few testimonial excerpts from my clients:
“… It is a blessing to be able to go on this journey into myself with an incredible healer like Stas. I can’t recommend him highly enough. Stas is gentle, kind and sincere and a pleasure ;) to work with.” – Taryn
“… I am so grateful for the time I have spent with Stas and what I have learnt from him. His kindness and open heart, unconditional love really struck me and he will stay deeply in my heart.” – Gauri
“… I have been to see him numerous times over the last 2 years and find him to be a great resource and would highly recommend him. He is wise beyond his years.” – Jim
“… During my second session we also had time to exchange thoughts about life, personal growth, healing the heart and soul, and relationships. His insight and perspective left me feeling light, confident, and ready to face the day. Thanks Stas, I will be seeing you next time I’m in town!” – Tosh
Work With Me In Person or Online
I can meet with you in person in Victoria, BC, Canada or we can work together online e.g. via Skype or Google Hangouts. I also do hands on healing work with women.
While I prefer to conduct my sessions in English, if you don’t have a good command of English, we can do it in Russian or Hebrew.
I value my Sexuality and Relationships Coaching/Consulting time at USD$80/hour and you can hire me for any length of time, starting from 30min. I recommend we first have a single session. If you feel your needs are being met and you would like to continue working with me, depending on your needs we can plan to have a series of meetings.
Once we have a scheduled appointment, you will need to send me your payment via Paypal. I’ll send you a full refund should you wish to not follow through with the appointment. If that’s the case please kindly notify me of the change asap, so that I cold make myself available to other people.
If you wish to book time with me please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org. When you contact me please let me know your preferred hours and your time zone or home city. You may find yourself on the opposite side of the world from me, so please take into account the difference in time zones. Considering this I open the window of possibilities to 10:00 (10am)-22:00 (10pm). And I’m located in the Pacific Standard Time (PST) Zone (UTC -8) on the West Coast, so I’m in the same time zone as Vancouver, Seattle, Los Angeles and Portland.
Email is the best way to communicate with me with regards to appointments. While I do have a phone, I only use it for emergency and if someone can’t reach me by email.
Not Ready For Work Yet?
If you are not quite yet sure whether this kind of work is for you, if you are man please read “Low Hanging” Techniques to Dramatically Increase Ejaculation Control” and if you’re a woman — “Little Things to Dramatically Improve Female Sexuality“.