After you have read the introduction to moving your sexual energy during love making and, how to do so on Manipura, the third chakra, located in the area of the navel, this article will explore methods and techniques of working with Anahata, the fourth chakra. I will show you how during love making you can focus on Anahata, open your heart, feel love and extend the duration of your love making session to as long as you would like it to continue.
The seat of Anahata chakra is located within the vertebral column corresponding to the heart region.
Located above Manipura, Anahata is the second nearest chakra you can move your sexual energy to in the upward direction. While the first three chakras: Muladhara, Svadhishthana and Manipura are considered to be dense, material and gross in their energy, Anahata is the first chakra that carries a more refined, spiritual energy (and so all the chakras above it). This chakra is also a gateway between the material and the spiritual (3 material-level chakras below it and 3 spiritual-level chakras above it). Some suggest that decisions made on Anahata chakra and above are not driven by karmic causality and therefore do not bind one further into the world of duality. The engineer in me feels that it is probably partially true for Anahata, since it’s positioned in the middle of the seven chakras. Yet, I can definitely relate to that statement, when my actions are done out of unconditional love. The term “unconditional” must be the key here, as conditional love is definitely rooted in the material aspects of our lives and therefore karmically imprisoning us. For most of us, when we love someone, it’s likely to be a mix of conditional and unconditional love.
Anahata is a very special chakra, as it is considered to be one of the two main gateways into the states of enlightenment. So by making love on Anahata, you’re not only enjoying yourself more, you’re engaging in a very powerful spiritual practice. In Tantra the experience of an orgasm is considered to be of a high state of consciousness, a glimpse into enlightenment, a peek into the divine. If only we could extend it long enough to make this insight memorable.
footnote 1: Sahasrara, the 7th chakra (crown chakra), is the second main gateway. Some Tantric texts suggest that Anahata is the only gateway and that there is a special channel that connects Sahasrara to Anahata, so when a person experiences a high state of consciousness in their crown chakra, they reach the divine through their heart. And then there is a Hrid chakra, located slightly to the right of Anahata, which again by some Tantras is considered to be the real entry to your higher self. As you work with this chakra you may be moved to learn more about these technicalities, but for the purpose of our exploration here these matter not. Some of these teachings are discussed in Vijnana Bhairava Tantra. For in-depth information on Hrid chakra see Goswami’s book “Laya Yoga” page 212 and there is also a whole Yoga school dedicated to working with Hrid: Hridaya Yoga, lead by a true Tantric master.
While the energy of Manipura can be quite unfamiliar to many of us, most people have access to the emotion of love and therefore, incidentally, the energy of Anahata is accessible to most without much effort. Granted, you may have many difficulties surrounding states of loving and being loved, but if I were to ask you to remember one time when you felt love (giving or receiving), you will unquestionably succeed at this task. It’s enough to have, but one experience in all of your life to be able to access this energy. This practice will tremendously help to transform any blockages around your heart, make it more pure and enrich the quality of your life.
What a tremendous difference, I say, — whether to have sex to get your tension off, or to have sex and grow to be in love with yourself, your lover and all around us. For years I have been struggling to understand why I have a strong sexual drive, which I can’t stop, and which led me to various kinds of pains, and finally have discovered that it’s a nature’s secret way to drive us to love. Amazing!
footnote 2: Please don’t get me wrong – having sex to release tension is a very important for your physiology and it’s a very powerful healing process. They are just of a different caliber. And hopefully the former will lead to the latter.
Anahata carries the energy of air and light, surrender and trust, purity and innocence, selflessness and longing for connection, devotion and affection, harmony and sympathy. Love making on Ahanata involves a lot of touching, holding, caressing and hugging. Not much moving or and, often, no hard penetration. Karezza, described below, fits really well into this practice.
In order to make love on the Anahata chakra, you need to focus your mental attention in the area of your heart. The energy will naturally start to move away from your genitals and towards your heart. Keeping your focus there is the difficult part. Do not worry if your attention comes and goes. The more you practice, the easier it becomes. At some point you won’t even need to focus on your heart, it’ll just happen by itself. Until then here are some excellent aids to master this process.
Before you start with the chakra-specific tools please make sure to read first the explanation on how these tools work and why they can help you.
Table of Contents
Yoga has just the perfect methods for helping you open and purify your heart, and get attuned to its specific subtle energy. It’ll help a lot with your love making on Anahata if you practice these Yoga techniques when you’re inspired to do so:
- Agnisara Dhauti
- Raja Kapotasana
These will give you is an excellent start and if you feel like it, you can add others at a later stage.
Make sure you learn and practice these in person with an expert before embarking on your self-practice.
We all pray. We just don’t always want to admit that. Whether you realize that or not, every time you desire something you consciously or unconsciously ask the Universe to give that to you. So we know oh so well to pray for material things. These days many don’t want to have any association to prayer, mainly due to the corruption of the modern religions, because in all of them, prayer is the main tool of worship.
Prayer is a very powerful practice of heart opening, since it requires asking your ego to step aside and allow something bigger in. Which for most of us is very difficult to do. As elucidated earlier, Anahata is the transitional chakra between the material and the spiritual. So the more you work on opening your heart, the less suffering you will experience, since your spiritual side will become stronger and your attachment to material world will lessen. And attachment is the cause of all suffering, as taught by Buddhists and Yogis alike.
Just like most of you, it’s very difficult for me to relate to any of the elected Gods of the mainstream religions. I was so happy when I discovered through the study of Kashmir Saivism that each one of us is a unique limited version of God, and we are not separate from Creator, but the many unique reflections of the divine. Now I discovered a way to reach beyond my very limited ego, to my higher self, and at the same time talk and pray to God. I don’t need to comply with any rules and regulations of how God needs to be worshiped and I don’t need to convince anybody that my God is better than his. Amazing! Moreover, I learned that the unique limitations were created on purpose, so that we could have a myriad of unique experiences, which would be impossible if all of us chicken were omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient.
footnote 3: It’s interesting that in Kashmir Saivism, besides the three attributes of limitation of space, power/action and knowledge, that God doesn’t have, it is taught that we are also limited in how we experience time, and that we have the illusion of individuality, and we experience attachment. So the less our ego is in control, the less attachment we experience, and therefore the more God-like we become. For more information refer to the book “Kashmir Shaivism – The Secret Supreme” by the last of the KS lineage masters Swami Lakshmanjoo. Specifically, look into six coverings (kanchukas) amongst the 36 tattva model of creation in the first chapter of the book.
If you know how to pray — do so. If you don’t, and feel inspired to give it a try, by all means do so. Probably the easiest way to practice prayer is through simple affirmations. Works by Louise L. Hay are probably the most renowned in this domain and are easily accessible to all, but of course there are many others who teach this method. Or pick up a real religious prayer that touches your heart and modify it to replace any names offensive to your intelligence. For example, I really like this prayer, by Marianne Williamson, except I’d personally use Higher Self instead of God:
Please teach me to forgive myself and others.
Remove the walls that keep love out, behind which I am a prisoner.
Heal my guilt and remove my anger, that I might be reborn.
Make gentle my heart and strong my spirit and show me how to love.
Please show me how to honor myself.
Please teach me how to listen to myself.
Please program my mind to know itself, that I might at last be free.
Teach me to appreciate your spirit that lives within me.
Show me how to be good to myself, that I might know more fully the goodness of life.
As you move into this direction of love and peace, try not to fight your ego, since a war on something is still a war. If you choose the path of love, love your ego, even when you’re so so tired of it getting in your way. It’s fruitless to wage war on ego, since the more your fight it — the stronger it becomes. The only way to diminish the power of your ego is to befriend it, through becoming aware that it has an amazing purpose in your life, that is of ensuring your survival, and you just need to learn when to act on its suggestions and when to gently assert, that it’s not what you need at that moment, while appreciating its undeniably good intentions. It will take time, and at the beginning you will probably have a lot of failures at being friends with it, but it’s oh so worth the effort in the long run.
Love Making Positions
Body positions that will aid in activating Anahata chakra are with a man from behind, “doggy style” being the main one.
If a man can reach under and hold her breasts, without losing balance, it will be even more powerful.
Fully touching her back with his front (as in spooning) also aids a lot, since she will feel being held and it’ll be easier for her to surrender, which is normally trickier in this position, since the lovers’ eyes can’t easily meet.
Here are some possibilities:
The famous Tibetan Yab Yum position simultaneously activates Anahata and Ajna (6th chakra):
Coined by Dr. Alice Stockholm, this technique, whose name is derived from caress in Italian, and which supposedly comes from the Tantric tradition, involves penetrative sex, but without the ejaculation and with very little to no movement. The lovers engage in foreplay, followed by penetration and then stillness, remaining in the penetrated position for extended periods of time (some 30-plus minutes).
Ideally, find a position where even if the man loses an erection, the limp penis will still remain inside the vagina. During the extended practice of this method the erection will come and go, so it’s the best to find a position, where he doesn’t need to worry about losing an erection and his penis coming out.
Since there are so many body types it’s difficult to prescribe the perfect position. Yab Yum depicted above is one possible position. Another one is where both lovers lie on their sides, man inserts his lower at this position leg between woman’s legs, and his upper one above her legs or the other way around; the one who’s heavier will have the lower leg to the ground:
He could also position his legs between her legs, while both lay on their sides:
Use as many pillows and other aids as you need for both of you to be comfortable and relaxed for very long periods of time. For example I don’t find Yab Yum comfortable for me due to back pain issues, so after a few minutes I start struggling and this is no Karezza any longer. Side positions are quite comfortable on the other hand as long as my lover’s legs aren’t too heavy, and if they are — some variation is needed.
The books on the subject suggest that it’ll take several weeks of consistent practice of Karezza to retrain the body to start experiencing pleasure without intense genital rubbing, the way sex is normally done. And after some time intense orgasms will be experienced in a totally new way.
This is a very powerful technique, since you will not get distracted by all the moving parts and excitation, and therefore there will be no attention diversion — the heart will be given an opportunity to open up and give a full flow of love in both directions. It is said that prolonged Karezza produces that somewhat elusive hormone Oxytocin, which bonds the lovers emotionally together.
For men this is a great technique to overcome performance anxiety, therefore it’s very beneficial to those with Erectile Dysfunction. And it’s very helpful with premature ejaculation, since the excitation is dialed down to almost zero, and a refined control can be learned.
There are variations to this technique. The main one is where no penetration and no erection is required. The lovers just have their genitals touch and stay still in that position. In a Tantra training led by Homa and Mukto they called it Plugging, which also incorporates a special circular energy-moving breathwork, borrowed from Tao. You can even practice this variation, while wearing clothes, which makes it safe-ish to practice by relative strangers, if they are not interested in or open to lover-type intimacy and yet want to practice this technique to open their hearts and heal their sexuality. The sexual energy flows just the same, but without the skin-to-skin level of intimacy.
Another variation is where instead of being still, the lovers move ever so gently, while being aware of each other’s excitation states and slowing down to a stop, when feeling that the excitation level is rising high.
For literature on the subject of Karezza, see “Karezza, Ethics Of Marriage (1903)” by Alice B. Stockham, “The Karezza Method or Magnetation – The Art of Connubial Love (1931)” by J. William Lloyd, “Cupid’s Poisoned Arrow: From Habit to Harmony in Sexual Relationships (2009), by Marnia Robinson, also the Karezza community website, and the wiki article on Coitus reservatus (sexual continence in Latin).
Somewhat similar to the idea of Karezza, in transfiguration the lovers love each other without trying to get a sexual orgasm. In fact transfiguration is done with just a gentle touch of hands and knees and the main contact happens through eye gazing.
The common form is for two lovers to sit cross-legged in front of each other, while a man holds her right palm in his left palm, and her left in his right. Then the two gaze into each other’s eyes, while trying to see each other and the one inside as a divine beings. This seemingly simple practice has an incredible depth and it’ll open your hearts and draw you much closer. This practice can be done with or without clothing.
Of course you can do the same during love making with or without penetration, as long as you face each other. If you try it during love making you’re likely to move into the practice of Karezza, as you will get lost in each other’s eyes and are likely to forget to move your genitals. Karezza doesn’t specifically prescribe eye gazing as a part of the method.
And like Karezza with clothes on, you can practice this method with anybody who is willing to try, lover or not.
This eye gazing practice falls into a very powerful Yogic group of methods, called Trataka, where one gazes at different objects, while having the eyes positioned in different ways and no or little blinking is done (each variation constituting a different Trataka technique). In general, Trataka techniques activate primarily Ajna and a bit of Manipura chakras. So in fact the main power of practicing transfiguration would be for making love on Ajna chakra (but also Vishuddha). Therefore in order for this technique to be more powerful for heart opening, apply a small modification and try to feel love for each other at the heart level, while you get lost in each other’s eyes. Another “side-effect” of this deep practice is that you may start seeing visions, faces, past lives and all kinds of unusual imagery while you gaze into the eyes of your beloved. Shapeshifting is another common experience. If any of these start happening, and you want to stay at the level of the heart, then blink a few times and the visions will go away.
A lot of us carry unresolved trauma, and therefore intense eye gazing may provoke deep emotions. Tears are a very common occurrence during this practice. If just tears emerge it’s OK, and you can continue with the practice. If you see that something deep is emerging and it’s big, I’d recommend to stop the practice, and try to support each other in the best possible way you can, primarily by just lovingly holding the person for whom the trauma has emerged, without too many words. Just allow them to be. Of course if you’re both up for it, you may choose later to discuss this and seek out professional help to help heal the trauma.
If you like this practice and would like to take it to the next level, do it in a group, rotating either men or women, every few minutes or so. Now, not only you are opening to love, you’re starting to tap into transcending attachment, as you will be opening to love more than one person, even at this very safe level.
If you would like to push it even more, do it in a group but with as few clothes on as you feel comfortable without, and even better – do it fully naked. This is a difficult one, especially for men, as the key here is not to get all sexually excited and start drooling, but, instead, to stay at the level of the heart. This is exactly where you’d need to know how to sublime the sexual energy to your heart, and to desire to penetrate that “new” woman with your heart and not your lingam. If you go “low“, this will ruin the experience for the women. If you realize that you’re not ready, perhaps postpone your participation until a later time when you feel ready. The other problem, men are likely to encounter, is “his dick is bigger than my dick” fear, which is likely to put them into their heads, rather than being present in their bodies. Of course, for women, body image is an even bigger problem in our modern society. So a lot of healing can be done here, but you need to go very slowly and carefully at it, making sure that there are at least a few people in the room who can hold space and stick to the practice and not have it fall apart. Some people like to have at least a tiny sheer veil on their body, they feel less naked that way, except it may make them appear even more erotic. Due to our peculiar brain wiring, paradoxically, full nudity for all involved will cause less sexual excitement, than partial nudity, and as a result a more successful meditation on the heart.
Group Love Making
I would not recommend trying this until you feel that you can raise your energy into your heart and have some degree of detachment and control over your sexual energies.
Group love making consists of bringing 2 or more couples together to share a single space to simultaneously make love. This is not an orgy. Everybody sticks to their lover. Only the space is shared. This is a very powerful spiritual practice discussed here. It helps you to develop unconditional love, as you immerse yourself into a space, where it’s not just you and your lover, who are being intimate, and the group energy is many times more powerful, than a couple can achieve on their own.
I once participated in a Tantric workshop, that was lead by Somananda, that included an awakening of the senses exercise, where all men, sat in a circle, while fully dressed and blindfolded. We were about 40 men and 40 women in the group. The women were given the full rein to play with us, men, to arouse our senses, using food, whispers, touch, etc. , rotating from one man to the next in a circle. I think there were some rules. I don’t think the playful women quite followed them. We, men, didn’t complain, we had a blast of a time.
When the fun was over a few women asked, when is it going to be their turn to be blindfolded and heave their senses aroused. Somananda said, he didn’t think it was a good idea (for obvious reasons, but specifically because there were many newbies at the workshop). A dozen or so women persisted and so we gathered late at night, after the workshop was over. About 10 men and 10 women showed up. And we did it. One woman run away as soon as we started. The rest were courageous shaktis, who remained and we all had an amazing time giving and receiving. After we finished, we spent some 30min in meditation raising our energy up.
The reason I shared this story with you is that I have experienced probably one of the biggest heart openings of my life in that late night session. I think it was because I was given permission to “love” (no sex) more than just one woman, that I’m sanctioned to love. Having that opportunity to love some 10 of mostly unknown to me women, one by one, in a respectful way, while listening to their needs and being fully present with the experience, shuttered the holds of the ego over my heart and my heart relaxed into it and opened like a flower it is, singing with joy. And note, this wasn’t even group sex, just loving consensual sensual touch. If you feel you’re ready for such an experience I can’t recommend it enough.
You may ceremonially gently rub a diluted version of one of these essential oils mixed with massage oil into the chests of each other. Imagine that you cleanse and open the heart of your lover as you do that.
Metals & Gemstones
Wear on your body a jewelery that embeds Copper or Emerald gemstone.
Dance Ballet before love making, you will have your Anahata activated. Or if you’re very emphatic it might be sufficient to watch a professional Ballet performance.
In general most mainstream religions belong to one of the two groups. Those whose primarily attunement is to the energy of Manipura chakra and those of Anahata chakra. Fundamental Judaism, Islam, Buddhism and Taoism mainly belong to Manipura. Christianity, Sufism, Hinduism, Subud mainly belong to Anahata. Of course there are many branches and teachings in each one and they will fall into different energies. For example the early Christianity of Jesus and his Apostles was grounded in Anahata, the latter, think Inquisition and the Church in general, is mainly Manipura, since the latter period was (is) mostly about control and fear, rather than love and acceptance.
So read books on the prophets, saints and mystics of those religions that were founded on unconditional love:
- Christianity icons: Jesus, Fathers of the Desert and The Philokalia, Padre Pio, St. Francis of Assisi and St. Teresa of Lisieux.
- Sufi mystics Kahlil Gibran, Rumi and Hafiz (ecstatic poetry!)
- The Bhakti side of Hinduism: The love stories of Shiva to his consort Parvati, depictions of lives of Indian mystics Kabir, Mirabai, Sri Ramakrishna.
Translated from Russian, “The Way Of A Pilgrim” (and “The Pilgrim Continues His Way”) is the firsthand account of a Russian peasant, who learns about the possibility of incessant prayer of the heart and is moved to make a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, on foot, with nothing but a Bible, a rosary, and some dried bread. He goes through many adventures on his journey, all along reciting the prayer “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me” and gradually experiences a transformation of his mind and soul. The author of this book is unknown. Regardless of whether you have any resonance with Christianity, I highly recommend reading this book, as it’ll open your heart. If you experience a religious conflict, especially if you have been traumatized by your religious upbringing, it may help to ignore the specific words of the prayer and instead, observe the energy of longing and love, that one can’t help but to have a direct experience of while reading this book. Don’t look at the finger, but at where it’s pointing. And if you happen to speak Russian, of course read the original.
If you have other additions and recommendations to this listing please make suggestions in the comments section under this article. Kindly add a note of why you think it’d be a good fit and how those books affected you, if you don’t mind sharing.
Here is a good starter selection of movies for you to watch to attune to Anahata type of pure love and surrender energy.
- Brother Sun, Sister Moon (1972) [IMDB]
- Francesco (1989) [IMDB]
- Gandhi (1982) [IMDB]
- Padre Pio, Miracle Man (2000) [IMDB]
- Bridges of Madison County (1995) [IMDB]
- Mother Teresa (1986) (documentary) [IMDB]
- Thérèse: The Story of Saint Thérèse of Lisieux (2004) [IMDB]
- Saint Theresa of Lisieux (1938) [IMDB]
- The Island (2006) Ostrov (Russian) [IMDB]
- The Public Eye (1972) (aka: Follow Me!) [IMDB]
There are many modern movies that model love (mostly dramas). The problem is that most of them are tainted with impure love, that is energies coming from the 3 lover chakras: Manipura (control), Svahdistana (comfort), Muladhara (safety), and therefore aren’t really suitable for modeling Anahata energy, unless you can tell the difference.
Music styles that primarily activate Anahata:
- Gregorian Chants (a big variety of albums from various monasteries), and other choral church music
- Classical church music (can’t go wrong with Ave Maria)
- Angelic music (but may have a mix of other chakras in it, i.e. not pure Anahata)
- A Gift Of Love – Music Inspired by the Love Poems of Rumi by Deepak Chopra
- Love Is Space by Deva Premal
- Alchimia D’Amore by Michel Pepe
- La Source d’Emeraude by Michel Pepe
I will be adding more in the future, and your recommendations are very welcome. Thank you.
If you feel inspired and would like to dive even deeper into the science of chakras, here is a list of books I recommend to read to deepen your knowledge of chakras:
- Shyam Sundar Goswami – Laya Yoga – The Definitive Guide to the Chakras and Kundalini. This is a very in-depth and advanced text on the science of Tantra.
- Swami Sivananda Radha – Kundalini Yoga for the West. This is a much easier to read text than the above “Laya Yoga”, yet it’s still a very in-depth treatise on chakras.
Other important books to study:
- Nik Douglas, Penny Slinger – Sexual Secrets – The Alchemy of Ecstasy. This is an excellent in-depth guide on Asian sexuality (Tao, Tantra, etc.).
If this article has touched you, or you have ideas or experiences to contribute, please use the comments section below. Thank you.
Next, I recommend you read on making love on others chakras:
or make another pick from Sexuality and Relationships Open Book.