Sex This: How Is A Woman To Deal With A Sudden Onset Of An Orgasm In Public

May 25, 2017 by stas | Filed under Practices For Women, Sex This.

Orgasm in Public

One of my clients recently asked me this tough question:

“Sometimes I get a sudden arousal and may experience an orgasm, while I’m out and about, interacting with the world. I don’t know how to go about that.”

It came up while we were discussing the cultivation of different levels of an orgasm and redefining orgasm as much more than just a peak sexual experience, paying attention to the body, developing awareness of the different states of the body at different times.

My suggestion was to first do an introspection and check internally on how she wanted to live her life, and whether being “alive” is more important than being “proper”.

If being alive in the moment is the choice, then she would find a way to experience the orgasm, while breaking the least amount of norms. For example if surrounded by close friends she could just say: “sorry guys, I’m having an orgasm”, and go for it… or go for it and then explain it. If in a wider public setting and at a danger of performing an “indecent” act, she could retire to the ladies’ room or find some kind of a variant to express her orgasm, which is least obvious to an uninvolved observer. It is somewhat similar to suppressing a sneeze, when we try that — often we get a strong energy pulse moving through our body, which is a type of an orgasm, since it kicks your kundalini energy into moving, albeit in non-sexual way.

footnote: you must remember that delightful episode from the movie “When Harry Met Sally (1989)“, where Sally and Harry are having a lunch in a busy restaurant, and she suddenly breaks into what sounds like a delicious orgasm. When the storm settles down, an older female client summons the waitress and asks to have what Sally is having. My little retelling of that episode can’t give justice to the amazing act, make sure you watch it:

If being proper is more important than having the experience of being, as a way of life or in a particular social situation, focusing away from your genital area to your heart and above, will move the sexual energy away from your genitals and very likely help extinguish the imminent big O and transform it into something else. Energy follows where your mind focuses, and that’s how you can control it. One easy way to force it is to close your eyes, roll them up while looking into 3rd eye, which is the point located slightly above the brow line in the center your forehead. To make it even stronger touch the tip of your tongue to the back of your upper palate. Focusing on an intense experience of love in your heart can be another practical approach. Pain works too, so discreetly pinching yourself somewhere could do the trick. If you’re visual, you may visualize the energy moving up to where you want it to go. Adding a color (e.g. pink) would make it easier to visualize. It’s usually recommended to send it upwards. If you are an auditory type, then you may imagine the energy ascending with a whoosh or a different sound.  And if you’re kinesthetic, you could try to feel the energy move viscerally through your body.

Whatever you choose to do please make sure your choice is harmonious with your own soul and your relationships with others. Put the intention to the universe to support you and watch it manifest the circumstances for you to open up sexually without unnecessarily being disturbing to those around you, who may not be on the same wavelength as you are.

Also it’d help for you to know that there are some women who suffer from a very rare persistent sexual arousal syndrome, also known as persistent genital arousal disorder, and who climax hundreds of times a day. As embarrassing, exhausting and intolerable it must be for them, they still have to be in the world and if the condition doesn’t break them mentally and emotionally, eventually they must surrender to their odd condition and just let their body be. There are a few insightful documentaries on this rare disorder. This disorder happens to some men too.

So this is a wide-open question to you ladies: “How do you deal with this kind of juicy, yet very likely awkward situation if your life?


    Was my sharing meaningful and inspiring to you? Do you think you may act on it?
    How much do you think it can improve your wellbeing and how much would you value it at if you were to receive the same in a paid consultation?
    If you just move on to read something else you will gain very little and you know it.
    This your chance to put real value to it and increase chances that you will act on it.


    If you'd like to improve your life in the areas of sexuality and relationships I offer coaching and support sessions with foundation in Tantric Sexuality and based on values of unconditional self-love, authenticity, fearlessness, self-awareness and surrender.

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