Learning how to experience sexual pleasure without touching myself or being touched is something I have started to experiment with as of recent.
After all, if we all have sexual dreams and are able to experience pleasure and to have an orgasm without touching ourselves or being touched on the physical level, we should be able to achieve the same while being awake.
Expanding the Capacity to Channel Sexual Energy
Just as learning to masturbate well helps you to know yourself better and then to have a better sexual experience with your partner, I believe this is a very important practice if you want to expand your capacity to have full body orgasms. In order to be able to receive and contain the powerful flow of sexual energy that manifests during sex, you need first to lay the foundation and pave the “highways” for the energy to flow through your body. Otherwise the energy won’t be able to flow and it will stop either at the genitals or somewhere half-way through.
Developing your energetic channels during sex is very difficult since so much is going on. More so for us men, who often feel in charge of the “orchestra”, not very good at multi-tasking, and therefore, have little capacity for learning in that environment. It’s much better to develop those by practicing alone, when you have a full control over the influx of energy and you can focus exclusively on one thing at a time.
That’s why I believe this practice is very beneficial to men to able to last much longer before ejaculating, and to both genders to transform local genital orgasms to full body orgasms.
I already have a well-developed capacity to perceive subtle energies and to move those around my body at will. This is due to almost a decade of my Tantric yoga and Reiki practices. Now I just need to work specifically with the sexual energy and train my body to perform this unusual practice.
If you’re new to subtle energy work, I’d recommend taking a first level of Reiki, which is usually quite cheap and happens in a single 2-day training. Then, if you practice Reiki on yourself for about one month, you should start feeling the universal energy flow in your body. Some people already know how to feel that energy without any training, others might be slow at figuring it out. What’s for sure is that any human being can learn that skill. It shouldn’t be difficult to find a Reiki teacher in your area. Of course finding a yoga school where you could be taught not just the stretching and gymnastics, but also the work with energies is quite a different story. For the latter please see: How and Where to Study Shaiva Tantra.
If you don’t really want to undertake any prep-work in learning to work with energies, I trust that you can experiment with this approach just as you are. Most people can feel their sexual energy to some degree, therefore it can be accessible to all. The question is whether you will have the tenacity to practice long enough to make it happen.
Here is what I’ve been practicing at this stage:
- I start by lying on my back, with my legs slightly apart.
- then I take a few minutes to relax my body.
- next I focus on the tingling sensation of sexual energy in the head of my penis and around it. if I don’t feel anything I recall a time when I felt it and almost immediately I feel it. This stage might take practice.
If you are a women focus on the sexual energy you’d feel in your clitoris, other parts of your vulva, deep inside your vagina, nipples, or anus. You have many more options to start with than us men.
- I try to expand that feeling to a wider area, creating a sphere of sexual energy.
- finally I try to expand it into my whole body, but primarily moving it up, towards my head. When successful this stage brings jolts of kundalini energy moving up with goosebumps, heat, blushing and other manifestations that will vary wildly from person to person.
This will take some practice to make it work well. Sometimes it works better as I practice, at other times it’s quite difficult.
I also try to work with pure energy without fantasizing or visualizing, but I’m not always successful at activating my sexual energy just because I wanted to. So I cheat a little bit and visualize some lovely touch to activate my masculine sexual energy, usually devoid of personality, and more of an amalgamation or an essence of feminine sexual energy. I’m not sure whether this “helping” will make things more difficult to perfect this ability or not — time will show. The reason I try not to imagine things is that it’s more difficult for me not to get distracted and move into another kind of work, which is not bad, but takes me away from my focus.
So now to you. Please share whether you have tried this approach, obviously stating whether you’re a man or a woman, sharing what works for you, what doesn’t, what difficulties you encounter, how it may have affected your sex life, tips you can give to others, etc. Thank you.